Saturday, March 12, 2011

She Made Her Choice....Mommy!

It finally happened. I knew this day would come, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. Hannah told her daddy that she didn’t want to stay with him anymore. She’s been complaining about missing her mommy when she spends nights there. Now, she won’t even GO! I’ve had her with me for a whole week 24/7, which I love, but I have midterms to study for next week. YIKES. My little girl comes first!

Monday and Tuesday she told her dad she didn’t want to go with him. He was fine and allowed her to stay. Thursday, she was all geared up for him to pick her up after work at 7:30 to spend the night with him. When he called on his way, she told him she didn’t want to go…yet again! This time, he got angry. He hadn’t seen her all week! He asked her why. She said, “I miss Mommy.” Apparently, she cries for me every night when she’s there. Of course, he doesn’t tell me that.

He went as far as asking her, “You don’t love me?” Her only response was, “I love Mommy.” Of course, this set him in a rage. He was crying on the phone. He finally hung up, because she wouldn’t budge. Then he came to my door to talk to her in person. She didn’t want to answer it. She made me stay close, afraid he would take her from me. They talked outside the front door. She wouldn’t let me shut the door, keeping me close. Every now and then, he’d start to get loud, and she’d look at me with fear in her eyes. I just nodded. I had explained to her that this has to be between her and her dad. I can’t get involved. I encouraged her to go with him assuring her I would never leave her, that I would be in this house until I went to pick her up from school the next day. She was just to spend the night with him….nothing more. She still refused.

He told her that she broke his heart and hurt his feelings. He was balling by this time. I told her to go give her daddy a hug to make him feel better. He didn’t even hug her back. He begged her to come with him. She held to her decision. I felt aweful! I even felt bad for him, if you can imagine that.

He finally gave up and left. She felt so bad about hurting her dad like that. I could tell she held a lot of guilt, even cried a little and eventually said, “I should have gone with him.” I kept telling her that his feelings getting hurt was NOT her fault. Of course she asked, “Then who’s fault is it, if not mine?” I wanted to tell her that it was his fault, but I knew she’d ask why. I didn’t want to make him look worse to her by telling her that he chose to leave us for another life. I refrained for HER sake! I told her that it was no one’s fault. I explained that she is a 5-yr-old girl who needs her mommy, and there is nothing wrong with that. I told her to follow her heart, and that she made the right choice. I told her that her daddy was a big boy, and that he’ll be OK.

I asked her if she misses him. She said she does, but doesn’t want to see him. I asked, “Well, then what will you do when you miss him?” She said, “I”ll just look at pictures of Daddy, and that’ll be enough.” WOW! I couldn’t believe that! She just totally rejected her dad. I knew this day would come. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.

I asked her why she doesn’t like going to her dad’s house. Keep in mind, he lives in his parent’s vacation home near by with his sister and younger brother. His parents often come and stay for months at a time. She said our house is peaceful, and his is not. She also said that he yells at her and everyone else all the time. She get’s tired of all the yelling. She said, “I need to be in a peaceful house like yours.” WOW! How old is this girl? Yep, only 5.

The next morning, he called and talked to Hannah. I asked how he was doing? She said he was fine. I haven’t heard much about him since. She did mention this morning that she wants a step dad to live in our house. WHAT????? She said, “But he’d better be a good man!” Where is this coming from? I told her, “Well, that’ll be a while, because I don’t know any men.” HAHA! I asked her what he should be like. She said, “He’ll enjoy playing games with me and playing with my toys. He’ll be kind and won’t yell. He’ll be peaceful.” She even added that she’ll have to move back into her own room when he moves in, since he’ll be sleeping with me. I guess I’ve got her blessing to move on!