Thursday, February 24, 2011

Wait On God

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively……
But God says to His children,

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desire or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing – one that you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.

You just wait. That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at all the things you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

And then when you are ready and until that one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.

I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love, that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly.

I am God.

Believe it and be satisfied."

Author - unknown

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Valentine's Day is Approaching

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. I am not dreading it. One good thing will come of my X having a lady friend. I get to have Hannah on Valentine’s Day! She’s the best Valentine I could possibly have. She is the LOVE of my life! We have special plans. Sunday afternoon, I’m taking Hannah to the Beauty and the Beast show. That night, we’ll have a candle lit bubble bath, Hannah’s favorite thing! I also plan to make dark chocolate covered strawberries and blueberries. It will be so special, just the two of us.
It may be questioned why I don’t feel bad about not having a man to share it with after being married all these years. Well, to tell you the truth, holidays were always a disappointment with my X. He usually didn’t do anything to make the day special. He never cared to go out of his way for me. So, what’s to miss.

Being single means no expectations! I’m responsible for making a joyful Valentine’s Day. I have no problem with that. Once again, I’m so thankful to have my precious little girl to share my life with. Maybe one day there will be someone special other than Hannah in my life. Who knows what God has for me? But honestly, my life is not lacking. I am content right where I am. I am busy being a mom and being a grad school student. I really don’t have time for much else. I already have friends to share free time with. What do I need a man for???

Maybe I have a negative perspective of men still. I know I am scarred by my poisoned marriage. I still joke about not allowing a man in my house unless he’s fixing something. HEHE! All of my pets are female….no testosterone here. Yes, that comes from a pain that still brews deep down inside. But that’s OK. I believe that God has that pain there for a reason, because He doesn’t want me yearning for a man in my life right now. My attention is meant to be elsewhere for now. When the time is right, that pain will fade. Maybe that will happen when Mr. Right crosses my path at last.

I believe he’s out there. I pray for him even now. I pray that God is preparing him for me and me for him. I pray for the traits I’m looking for. I pray for his family. I pray that God will bring him into my life, in His perfect timing. But even though my future husband is in my prayers, I don’t feel a void for him. I’m OK not having him in my life for now. It’s not time yet….and I’m OK with that.

Maybe I fill that void with pets! Some of you may laugh. Yes, we adopted another little kitten named Cloe. She’s so adorable and has really dug her way into my heart. Maybe when I start feeling that something is missing, that’s when I feel the need to adopt another pet. Look out….CAT LADY in the making!!!! I guess my add would say, “Must Love Cats”. HAHA!

All this to say, I don’t feel any urgency to meet that special someone right away. I am using this time to work on ME! I have grown enormously since my separation over a year ago. I have not allowed bitterness to brew. I have not allowed to pain to overcome me. I have been able to see the good that has come from the bad. I can see how God is working this all out for me. I can see how He saved me in every way from a poisonous marriage. Now, I can live my life. Now, I can be myself. Now, I can be happy.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Life is Good

It’s hard to believe after everything that’s been happening in my life lately, but life is good. I have my neck brace off and my neck is feeling pretty good. I’m able to resume normal activity. My van is finally FIXED after going to 3 different shops! That’s a load off! School is going well. I’m not necessarily caught up on my reading, but I’ve realized I never will be, and that’s OK. I’ve gotten straight A’s and didn’t come CLOSE to reading everything. So, I’ve learned to let that go and do what I can.

I’ve learned so much in my classes. Some classes have actually changed me! I can’t wait to see the woman I will be on graduation day. God is really working in my life. I’m so blessed. I thought I already knew a lot about how people think and why they do the things they do. HA!

I was able to watch my daughter sing a solo in school on Friday and a duet this Sunday in church (NTBC). I praised her on using her gift of song to glorify Jesus! My little girl is such a blessing.

We adopted a new kitten, Cloe, which has been wonderful! Hannah learns responsibility as she has to clean the litter more often now. I have also started her on washing dishes. She get’s to put the recycling in the garage, as well. She’s a very good helper….even though I catch her making up songs about how she’s Cinderella with all the work I give her. HAHA! Usually, she does her chores without complaint, often before I ask.

My life feels blessed….for a change. I’m hopeful that the worst is over and things will start looking up from here. I’m still waiting on the lawsuit to see if I will get some money back from the body shop that tried to steal my van. I’m also waiting to see if my X’s family will forclose on my house, which is already in foreclosure. But either way, I have faith that God is working. He will bless me and Hannah with this house or a better one.

I’m so thankful that God walked along side me through the valley.