Monday, January 24, 2011

Engaged Already???

Yep, that’s right! The X is engaged! Everyone who has seen them together claimed it didn’t seem like it would last. Then what happened? This is the rebound. They started dating in June, supposedly, and we were divorced the April before. He claims they met on the beach down here, when she was visiting family. She lives in Orlando and plans to move down here with her 5 yr old daughter. She’s from Argentina, lives with her mom, has never been married, doesn’t work, and is a student. That’s about all I know.

Hannah never talks about this woman, which tells me she doesn’t interact with her much…NOT a good sign! When Hannah likes someone, she talks about them non-stop! She does seem to like her daughter.

The X has already told Hannah all about the upcoming wedding and how she and the other little girl gets to be the flower girls. OMGsh! Is this real??? The first thing Hannah said when she came in the door was, “Mommy, guess what!!! Daddy’s getting married!” Then she went on and on about it all evening. She seemed excited, which I guess is good. She told me that the woman and her daughter will move down here. I asked, “Where will they live?” She said, “With Daddy at Ya-Ya’s house (his mom)”. Oh, boy! That won’t go over well!

What is he thinking. The X doesn’t have a job, can’t keep one. He’s living in his mother’s house with his whole family. He’s muching off his dad for his expences, and now he’s going to get married?!?!?!?! This guy lives in la-la land! Does he really think his dad is just going to support his NEW family? WOW! This guy knows NOTHING of responsibility!!!
Really, I don’t care what he does. If he wants to remarry, it’s none of my business. Personally, I’m very glad to be rid of him. But HANNAH is my business!!! Obviously, this marriage won’t last. What will multiple wives down the road do to Hannah? Who is this other woman who will help to raise MY daughter?!?!?! And I have NO say-so in this . That just isn’t right! I gave birth to this child and raised her, basically ALONE up until the divorce, for GOD’S sake!!!!!

This is just one more trial for me to overcome. I’m still thankful for my faith. I am in shock right now. But over all, I have the assurance that God is in control of even this. God loves Hannah even more than I do! That is hard to imagine. He will NOT let this harm her. If anything, just like me, she will grow stronger because of her own trials. I just have to be the BEST mom I can be! She’ll figure out what her father’s priorities are on her own. I don’t say a negative word about him. I do often have to explain his bad behavior, like when she complains about his yelling. I only tell her that this is just how he communicates. I tell her that if she doesn’t want him to yell, then she shouldn’t do anything to upset him.

The other dilemma is that he doesn’t take Hannah to church on his weekends anymore. That goes against everything we agreed on when she was BORN! However, every Sunday right now is MY TIME. I have her Sunday nights, so that means I get her all day on Sunday. Previously, I compromised with him allowing him to take her to church on his Sundays, then bringing her to me later. Well, if he’s not going to take her to church then he can’t have her on my day anymore. I can then take her to church every Sunday. Well, now he wants to have Sunday’s too, on his weekend. But he also has Mondays, becauase I’m in school late that day this semester. So, Hannah would be with him 4 nights in a row!!! That’s WAY too much time away from her mommy!!!! So, what to do?

My intention is not to be mean or punish him….or even to keep Hannah away from this woman (fiance, I guess). I just want her in church on Sundays. SO, what to do? I lost a lot of sleep last night over this. I don’t want to be stressed about it. I want to leave it to God. I’ve prayed for wisdom. I need so much wisdom to live through my life!!! It seems it’s always something.

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