Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Valentine's Day is Approaching

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. I am not dreading it. One good thing will come of my X having a lady friend. I get to have Hannah on Valentine’s Day! She’s the best Valentine I could possibly have. She is the LOVE of my life! We have special plans. Sunday afternoon, I’m taking Hannah to the Beauty and the Beast show. That night, we’ll have a candle lit bubble bath, Hannah’s favorite thing! I also plan to make dark chocolate covered strawberries and blueberries. It will be so special, just the two of us.
It may be questioned why I don’t feel bad about not having a man to share it with after being married all these years. Well, to tell you the truth, holidays were always a disappointment with my X. He usually didn’t do anything to make the day special. He never cared to go out of his way for me. So, what’s to miss.

Being single means no expectations! I’m responsible for making a joyful Valentine’s Day. I have no problem with that. Once again, I’m so thankful to have my precious little girl to share my life with. Maybe one day there will be someone special other than Hannah in my life. Who knows what God has for me? But honestly, my life is not lacking. I am content right where I am. I am busy being a mom and being a grad school student. I really don’t have time for much else. I already have friends to share free time with. What do I need a man for???

Maybe I have a negative perspective of men still. I know I am scarred by my poisoned marriage. I still joke about not allowing a man in my house unless he’s fixing something. HEHE! All of my pets are female….no testosterone here. Yes, that comes from a pain that still brews deep down inside. But that’s OK. I believe that God has that pain there for a reason, because He doesn’t want me yearning for a man in my life right now. My attention is meant to be elsewhere for now. When the time is right, that pain will fade. Maybe that will happen when Mr. Right crosses my path at last.

I believe he’s out there. I pray for him even now. I pray that God is preparing him for me and me for him. I pray for the traits I’m looking for. I pray for his family. I pray that God will bring him into my life, in His perfect timing. But even though my future husband is in my prayers, I don’t feel a void for him. I’m OK not having him in my life for now. It’s not time yet….and I’m OK with that.

Maybe I fill that void with pets! Some of you may laugh. Yes, we adopted another little kitten named Cloe. She’s so adorable and has really dug her way into my heart. Maybe when I start feeling that something is missing, that’s when I feel the need to adopt another pet. Look out….CAT LADY in the making!!!! I guess my add would say, “Must Love Cats”. HAHA!

All this to say, I don’t feel any urgency to meet that special someone right away. I am using this time to work on ME! I have grown enormously since my separation over a year ago. I have not allowed bitterness to brew. I have not allowed to pain to overcome me. I have been able to see the good that has come from the bad. I can see how God is working this all out for me. I can see how He saved me in every way from a poisonous marriage. Now, I can live my life. Now, I can be myself. Now, I can be happy.

No comments:

Post a Comment