Today is Father's Day. I think I've taken it quite well. My daughter still has a father, so I can be thankful for that. I didn't have to see him at all, which is good. But the challenge came when my friend told me I should buy him a gift. "What?!?!?!?! Are you kidding me? Not after what he did to me!" Then he didn't even get anything for ME for Mother's Day. I owe him NOTHING.
For the next several days, I thought about this. I got angry and sad. But eventually I realized that my friend was right. I need to be the bigger person. I need to kill him with kindness, as they say. So, as difficult as it was, I bought "Bringing Up Girls" by James Dobson on CD for him. I figured it was a gift that would end up helping Hannah, if he even listens to it. He doesn't read, so I knew a book would collect dust. I wrapped up really nice in a gift bag and made a nice little tag for it. I even dropped it off at his house yesterday to make sure Hannah could give it to him first thing in the morning.
Yes, I swallowed my pride and did the right thing. I hope he appreciated it, but it really doesn't matter. God is proud of what I did, and that's all that matters. I was obedient to God alone. Isn't that all we're called to do?
The unfortunate thing that happened today was when I opened Pandora's Box. I've been doing some organizing and came across a bag of old mail and cards. Well, this stuff dated back to when we were dating. I found a stash of love notes from each of us!!! I read them, with tears flowing down my cheeks. We were in LOVE! How did we get here from there? Based on the notes, we couldn't be apart. We missed each other every moment. Even my X would leave the house, while I still slept at times, and he would leave little love notes for me around the house as newlyweds.
He used to tell me he loved me all the time, even just before the divorce, but I would always tell him, "Actions speak louder than words." He didn't show me love. I may not have said it often, but I showed it. That is so much more important! And when I did say it, you can be sure I really meant it.
But over all, I did pretty well today. Hannah's daddy doesn't have to live with me, as long as she has one. I pray that God will make him the best daddy possible. I pray that he will be convicted and will draw near the Lord. I pray that he will desire change for the sake of his daughter. I pray that he will never hurt her!!!