Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Father's Role in a Little Girl's Life

"The father is usually the first man in a little girl's life. Girls usually develop their idea of 'maleness' from their fathers, and this influences the way they will view other men in their lives. Fathers, thus, lay the groundwork for the type of relationship that their daughters will share with men later in their life.

Young girls usually depend on their mothers to help them form their definition of 'womanhood'. However, a loving father is important to help a young girl develop self-esteem. The affection of the father for his daughter defines how she will evaluate herself as a woman."

This is why I make it a priority, in spite of myself, to encourage Hannah's relationship with her dad.  It would be easier for me to just let the relationship deteriorate.  But I know how important a young girl's relationship with her father is for her future relationships with men.  Hannah is very hard on her dad.  She never wants to be with him.  She dreads when she has to spend a night with him, or any time at all.  She claims to want to be with me all the time.  She reports that he yells at her all the time.  As it is, she spends very little time with him.  He does get his 3 nights per week, but when those nights fall on week nights, he doesn't pick her up till like 7pm.  So, she's only with him to sleep, basically.  Then he only has her a full day (Sat) every other week.  I have her every Sunday to take her to church.  Lately, he's been giving up his weekend nights with her, due to his new relationship.  We all have priorities...  

When Hannah says bad things about her dad, I try to remind her of something good.  I tell her how much he loves her and misses her.  At least, I want her to believe that he cherishes her.  I guess it doesn't really matter what the truth is.  It's all a matter of her perception that will develop her view of men.  I often wonder if it would be helpful for me to have a good Christian man in my life to act as a role model for Hannah.  I expect that God will provide that when the time is right.  For now, I just do my best to play both roles and hope for the best.  Fortunately, Hannah has VERY high self-esteem!!!    

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