Friday, February 1, 2013

An Awkward Moment, and Yet a Sign of Healing

Tonight is the 1st annual “A Date with Your Princess” at Hannah’s school.  I worked to get Hannah all dolled up for her very first date….with her father.  He came to the door with flowers.  But he needed to come in and change clothes, since he came directly from work.  This was the first time he was in my house in over 3 years!!!  I watched him struggling to button some stubborn buttons and actually offered to help, even with the one at his neck….AWKWARD!!!!  Thankfully, I didn’t have to help with his tie!  I was even able to take photos of the two of them, knowing that Hannah would want to remember this moment.  
Now that they’ve gone, I’m left feeling flustered from this uncomfortable experience.  But at the same time, I am super proud of myself for making it through and even participating for the sake of my daughter.  I do realize that a girl’s first love should be her father.  That has not been going well, so I wanted to make this event really special for her!  As difficult as it is for me, I want her to learn to respect and adore her father…for her own sake.  
As I look back, I can see how far I’ve come!  I am not angry anymore.  I still don’t care to spend any amount of time with the ex or talk with him, but at least we are able to co-parent as a team for the most part.  Most of the time, we are civil with each other.  Yes, I do avoid him at all costs.  Usually, I only have to see him when he drops off Hannah on Sunday morning every other week.  This week, I had to see him 3 times!!!  I prefer not to, but if I must, I am strong enough to handle it.  I still don’t really look him in the eye much.  But I don’t feel the intense evil protruding from him as I did before when he continued to try to hurt me. 
 I guess the fact is we’ve both done some changing.  I believe in giving credit where credit is due.  I have seen the ex’s effort to remain calm and even apologize after losing his temper during an argument.  He does see Hannah every week, not a lot, but he does.  He does take her fun places sometimes.  He makes a conscious effort to avoid arguments with me.  Many didn’t expect him to stick around this long, but he has.  
So, I am thankful for the growth and healing over the last 3 years.  I know this would not have been possible without GOD!!!  I have prayed for this night as I do for many others.  God is good, and he will be at the date with them.  I pray that Hannah’s dad will treat her like a princess and teach her what to expect from a man.  I pray that this will be an evening of bonding between them.  May she fall in love with her father tonight…

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