Monday, April 12, 2010

Filled with God's Peace

It's almost been a week since my divorce.  I've had numerous emails, calls, messages, etc from people who are worried about me.  Against all odds, though, I am fine...happy even.  My joy still comes from the Lord!  In fact, I feel that a burden has been lifted off of me.  The divorce is now final.  I am FREE to redefine myself.  I am free to live my life for God without a husband who brings me down.  I will not let another man hold me back...ever! 

In fact, I feel very satisfied being single.  What more could I ask for?  I have my precious little girl, who is a blessing to everyone she meets.  I have a house, a car, I get to go back to school to work on a career.  I never have to depend on a man again.  I will only depend on God from now on.  I have learned how He will provide for me like no man can.  I just have to trust Him in the midst of trials, which is not always easy. 

It is very uncommon for divorces to end "well".  For me, I believe it did.  I could have left this marriage with nothing.  And maybe I could have hired the $25,000 lawyer I visited, and I would have gotten more.  But it was more important to me to get just enough to know Hannah and I will be ok until I can get a career of my own to support us.  For Hannah's sake, I didn't want to destroy whatever relationship I may still have with my in-laws.  I know how important they are in Hannah's life.  She needs to have grandparents who will devote their time to her, who will love her....and they do.  I was very reasonable with my "demands", so I basically got what I needed. 

Hannah is also the same happy girl.  Really, I think the divorce was the best thing for her.  Before I knew what my X was up to, he was never around.  He had very little patience for Hannah.  He basically avoided being at home.  He often was not home when she went to bed.  Now she gets to see him so much more.  And he's finally spending quality time with her taking her to do fun things. 

God has worked this all out, and I know He will take care of my little girl, so no harm will come to her.  I picture Jesus holding her cradled in His arms.  She's got me and Jesus.  That's all she needs!  We're such a good team.  I couldn't love anyone more than I do that little girl!

We're going to be just fine.  And I look forward to my future as a single mom.  I will make the best of it!

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